My One That Got Away

I have never been one who believes in one perfect mate for everyone.  I also don’t believe in living in the past.  I do, however, believe that sometimes you meet a man with whom you can build a great life but for whatever reason, the timing is off.

I met K 12 years ago on a train.  We were both missionaries being sent to a new town in a far off country.  Within five minutes of meeting each other, I could tell we would get along famously.  He was just cocky enough that I thought “Holy cow- this guy certainly does think he is all that!”  But we had a great long train ride, exchanging much witty banter and having an overall bonding experience, the two of us and another sister missionary.

Since there were only two sets of missionaries in our big city, we spent a lot of time together (district meetings, field trips, etc.) and with our senior missionary couple.   And then there was the incident of the almost date.  Let me explain (if you don’t already know the story)- no wait, there is too much.  Let me sum up:

The visa requirements of the country were such that all of us younger missionaries had to leave the country for a few hours and come back in.  The elders weren’t getting along and since K and I got along so well, we ended up sitting/talking together on the train the whole way.  We all went and got dinner while we were waiting for the train to go back.  K and I split a pizza.  We sat/talked together the whole train ride back as well.  My companion later told me K and I were acting like we were on a date.

I came home from the country earlier than planned (anxiety/depression likes to make an appearance about every four years and it reared its ugly head).  K wrote me a sweet note in a book I had, promising we’d see each other again and signing it “I love you”.

I ended up finishing my mission in Baltimore.  I let K know about my homecoming- he was at school at BYU.  I don’t remember why he couldn’t come but I remember him telling me that he wished he could.  A couple months after that, we saw each other at a mission reunion.  We hadn’t seen each other for 18 months, but it was so great to be around him- a few people even asked if we were dating. 

I saw him once more after that- a friend was dating a guy in Provo and she went down one weekend to see him.  I called K and asked if he wanted to get together.  We went ballroom dancing in Murray.  It was great fun.  We laughed and joked and oh, how I loved being around him!  He told me that he had just bought a cd with a song that made him think of me but he never told me what song.  I bought the cd and have listened to it over the years wondering which song it is/was.

I haven’t seen K since that night.  I was in Provo another time and stopped by his house but he wasn't home.  Which is unfortunate because I looked smokin' hot that night and I'm pretty sure he would have fallen in love instantly.  I think I talked to him on the phone one other time.  I have tried a couple of different times to get in touch with him without any luck.  Maybe I said all the wrong things and freaked him out and was just too awkward.  I have a habit of saying the wrong things. 

I looked up K on Facebook many moons ago and sent him a friend request.  He never responded to it- lending credit to my earlier thoughts about being too awkward and freaking him out. 

Then the other day I looked at his profile and noticed a comment about K's apparently recent wedding.  And it made me a little sad. 

I guess I always figured it would go like a book- not having seen each other for years, we’d run into each other in some random place, neither knowing the other would be there and we’d pick up where we’d left off and “…[he] would have asked for [my] number, and [he] wouldn't have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling [me] and saying, "Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee or, you know, drinks or dinner or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?" (name that movie!)

So, for whatever reason, I guess my one that got away was never meant to be mine.  Sigh….