I have no problem telling people that over the years, I have struggled with anxiety. Also, at various times in my life, I have needed professional help- probably more frequently than what I have taken advantage of, depending on who you ask. I was thinking about it this morning and since I went on a mission, it seems like I have needed a counselor every 3-4 years. It was coming on 4 years since I'd talked to anyone, so I am due.
It turns out that right now is one of those times. You see, back in January, I had a doozy of a few days. Within a 4 day period, I had a dear friend lose a child, got in a car accident, and came down with a pretty wicked cold. While I was in Ohio, about an hour after I fell asleep, I woke up one night in a panic. I was sweaty, nauseated, totally terrified that something was wrong. I went in and checked on my sleeping nephews- they were fine, of course, but I had to check. Then I proceeded to spend the next hours alternating between the bathroom and fitful sleep. I had a minor one the next night but was fairly okay after that.
I haven't had a problem the past few weeks- that is, until the other night. I was at my parents' house for a couple of nights partying it up with the fam. Sunday night, about an hour after I went to sleep, I woke up again in a panic. I went and checked on my sister (she'd been asleep about 4 minutes and I scared the bejeezus out of her) and then woke up my parents. Yes, I am 33 years old and I woke up my parents because I was scared. I had my dad give me a blessing- it was interesting. He said a lot about being at peace with my life- I had asked for a blessing because I was scared of who knows what and wanted to go back to sleep. It took me about an hour to go back to "sleep".
Tuesday night, I had a mini-attack. Not as bad, but I still didn't want to go to sleep in my bed, so I ended up with my pillow and blanket on the floor and "slept" there the rest of the night.
Last night, I was going to have none of that, so I downed two Benadryl before going to bed and I slept great- so great in fact, that I slept through my alarm clock and didn't get to work until 1030.
So, after doing some insurance looking and talking it over with my parents, I am going to find a counselor and see if I can quit freaking out in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. I had someone explain finding a counselor like this: Finding the right counselor is like finding the right pair of shoes- you have to try out a lot and see what is the best fit. Since I enjoy shoe shopping, this should be fun!
3 comments:
I've had some similar issues lately affected by you-know-what. I think counseling can help, for sure. I also have found praying throughout the day really gives me a sense of peace. I'll add you to my many prayers, sweet friend. xoxoxo
Dearest friend, you are a brave, wise, wonderful soul. I stand behind you, no matter what. Love you!
My good friend Margaret Oak is a counselor and is great!! She works at LDS social services one day a week. I have PTSD and she helps me with it. Every few years i also have relapses. She's great!! Just call over there and you can get an apt with her.
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