My Civility

The other day on Facebook, a friend’s status was something that made me very sad.  She cautioned her friends and family that if she gets referred to as out of touch, terroristic or not with the times because of her political views, that she would be defriend them on Facebook.

It made me sad for the following reason- what the heck is happening to our manners?  Why is it okay to besmirch (there’s my fancy word of the day) another person’s character or question their patriotism just because we have different political views?  When did being right become more important than friendships or family relationships?  Of all things in this world, it is people who matter.  Not political causes or viewpoints.  It is not your personal politics that will lift you up when you are having a bad day.  It is not your preferred candidate for senator or president who will be there when your world falls apart- it is your family and friends.  There are incalculable numbers of ways to be a good American.  This nation was built on the principle of compromise, not on the principle of “my way or the highway”.  Compromise and civility are the only things that will heal our nation.  No one candidate is perfect, no one party platform flawless, no one person has all the answers.

There is nothing so important that it is worth risking relationships that we have worked on and cried over and that will carry with us when we have left this world.  When it comes to the end of our lives (and this is my personal philosophy), and we stand before our Maker, we will not be asked what party we were involved with or what views we endorsed or how many times we were right.  We will be asked about how things went with our families and friends.

In the coming days and months, as we look to electing new leaders at a state and national level, may I suggest that rather than talk about what is wrong with a candidate we don’t support, we talk about what is right with the ones we do?  May I suggest that when we are tempted to engage in political debate or discussion, before we make any comment, we choose our words carefully and measure them to see how they will impact our relationship with the person we are debating?  I know it is going to get ugly- half-truths and misinformation, some intentional, some not, is already flooding our news media, email inboxes and Facebook walls.  There are times for all of us, myself included, when we would do well to take the advice of Thumper’s mother “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”