My Own Kind of Me

This is me on a particularly cold morning in New York two years ago.  Man, that was a fun trip!

There are several blogs I like to read, each for a variety of different reasons.  Some I like to read because they are family members, others because they are friends.  I like some because they are just funny and others because I stumbled across them by chance and happened to like what they say so I go back and check in every so often.

One thing I have noticed on each of these blogs are comments to the effect of "I wish I were more like you" or "I want to be like you when I grow up"- I'm sure I have been guilty of at least thinking those things a time or two.

But just now as I was sitting here, I said to myself "Shari, why would you want to be anyone besides you?"  That's not to say there aren't characteristics in others that I wouldn't do well to emulate.  I get weekly emails from a former stake president's wife (they are serving as mission president in Tennessee right now) and every time, I think that I would do well to be as kind as her.  But I don't want to be Renee McKee kind- I want to be Shari Phippen kind.  My own special brand of kindness that comes from mixing my own life challenges with scripture study and reflection and trying to do the Lord's will. 

I don't want to be the 71toes kind of mom someday.  I want to be the me kind of mom.  I want to be the me kind of housekeeper, wife, interior decorator (although, let's face it on this one, I'm pretty sure I have no sense of decorating taste outside of what I can find at Bed, Bath & Beyond).

For me, this is my own kind of me:

-There is the part of me who hasn't had a caffeinated beverage for almost two months but every day tries to think of an excuse to have one.
-There is the part of me who arranged work so that I could attend ward temple night where I promptly fell asleep because it was so warm and cozy and it had been a long day.
-There is the part of me who gets sad and frustrated at people when they are unkind to themselves or others but who frequently refers to certain associates as psychotic whackadoodles and who has talked herself out of doing a great number of things because she's convinced she's not good enough.
-There's the part of me who wants to see other people rise to their potential and reap the amazing blessings in store for them but is afraid to do that herself.
-There's the part of me who loves to dive into the scriptures and wishes she did it more often.
-There's the part of me who wants desperately to find a man to spend eternity with but holy cow the thought of giving up my independence is mildly terrifying!

But then there's also the part of me who is starting to understand the great role Heavenly Father has for me and that as long as I have him on my side, I will succeed, yes I will indeed (it's 98 3/4% guaranteed!).  I will be the best me there is!

So, I guess what I'm getting at is that we need to be careful not to try and be just exactly how others are because we are not the same.  We have different highs and lows, different hobbies and habits, different likes and dislikes.  A loving Heavenly Father gave us each such unique personalities that if we spend too much time trying to be like another person, we will forget how to be the person He made us to be.  Characteristics are good to emulate but don't forget to be your own kind of you!

I love the book/movie The Help.  My favorite line is one that Aibileen says to Mae Mobley on more than one occasion.  She looks her right in the eyes and says "You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important."  So simple yet so true.  Maybe we each need to look ourselves in the mirror each morning and say this.  Maybe it will help us to remember to be the best us there is because no one else can do it for us!