Comparison

Recently, I finished listening to a series of cds titled The Power of Vulnerability.  They were given to me by a good friend after we had a significant heart to heart one evening and discussed our fears about life, love and other such things.

The speaker on the cds is a woman named Brene Brown, she's a professor of social work at a university in Texas and her main area of study is vulnerability.  But, on these cds she spends a fair amount of time talking about the danger of comparing ourselves.  I am guilty of doing this all too often- not being as skinny, not being as good of a writer, not being able to sing as well.  I am trying very hard not to do this and am always seeking out ways to validate myself and focus on what I can do instead of what I can't do.

Most of the time when we talk about comparison and its dangers, we are talking about comparing ourselves to others.  However, I think it is equally as dangerous, if not more so, to compare two people to each other rather than looking at each on their own merits.

Case in point: Last night, NBC aired a live broadcast of The Sound of Music, based on the 1959 Broadway play and not on the movie.  Carrie Underwood was cast in the role of Maria.  As soon as the show was announced, people all over the place began railing against NBC for doing such a thing. "Why would anyone try to replace Julie Andrews?" people cried.  "This is sacrilege!" "This is going to ruin a cherished part of my childhood!"  You would have thought the world was coming to an end the way some people reacted.

Listen, I grew up loving The Sound of Music- heck, I still do.  There is no bad day that can't be righted by watching the movie or listening to the music.  I firmly believe in the line "My heart will be blessed with the sound of music and I'll sing once more."  I can recite about 76% of the movie- be warned if you ever watch it with me, this will likely happen.  When my family moved from Virginia to Idaho, we left from a ward campout and performed our own version of "So Long, Farewell".  The movie is in my blood.  I'm pretty sure Julie Andrews should be sainted.

But, because I am a fan of the show and of Carrie Underwood, I decided to watch the show.  And I must say, I was thoroughly entertained.  Was it like the movie? No, but it wasn't supposed to be.  Were there flaws in it? Sure- there is in every show.

What I don't get is why people were expecting the show to be the movie and Carrie Underwood to be Julie Andrews.  Of course she wasn't going to be.  But, would you suggest to your child that they shouldn't paint or draw because they'll never be as good as Picasso or Michelangelo?  Should people be halted from their creative pursuits because there is someone who can do it better?  "Oh, I'm sorry son, I know you're on the varsity soccer team, but David Beckham is a better player, so you just shouldn't try?"  I don't think so.  I don't not go see friends in plays because I've seen it done better.  It's not about better- it's about being open to entertainment at all skill levels.

Another thing Dr. Brown points out in the cds is that over 40% of the adult population doesn't actively pursue creativity because they can remember a specific time when, as a child, an adult was critical of their creative effort so they stopped.  This is what happens when we compare!  Someone is always going to be able to do things better.  But that doesn't mean we shouldn't pursue creative efforts.  We do what we can with what we have.

I give NBC a lot of credit for trying this project- it was ambitious and neat and different and I hope they will do it again.  I think it would be fun to see Oklahoma or Singin in the Rain or a similar show.  I give Carrie Underwood and Stephen Moyer credit for stepping into Julie Andrews' and Christopher Plummer's shoes- that is a massively daunting task.  I'm sure they went into it knowing that they were going to be criticized no matter what they did and they did well.

I hope people will keep going to plays- I will still see Wicked even though no one can compare to Idina Menzel.  I hope people keep reading books- I know I will even though I think few can write as well as JK Rowling or CS Lewis.  Find room in your life for a variety of skill sets.  Put kids' handprint paintings on your fridge next to postcards of the classic works of art.

So, please stop comparing yourself to others.  And please stop comparing one person to another.  No one can compare to me either and no one can compare to you.  Because it's not about comparing- it's about doing your best and developing and sharing your talents.