Okay, so I realize that most of you three people who read this probably also are on Facebook with me, but I still think this is blog-worthy.
There is a guy I have been acquainted with for sometime. And by that,I mean that we have a few of the same friends and have been in the same social gathering a few times. Last week, after having seen him twice in a play, I decided I want to go out with him. We had an awesome conversation after the show (a good heart to heart for people who aren't super good friends). So, enter my friend Brittany. She and I started conspiring about how I can go out with him and we came up with a great plan. Now he just has to agree to it (which, from what I have been mostly assured, he will).
Anyways, as is the case with set-ups and blind dates and whatnot, Brittany and I got talking about who pays for stuff like that. We couldn't come up with any reasonable conclusions, so I put it out there on Facebook for people's opinions. I posed it thus: "Person A express interest in Person B to Person C. Person C offers to set Person A up with Person B. Assuming costs are involved, who pays? So far, I have had one person say dutch and one say the guy always pays. Discuss"
And these were the comments I got back:
-Is Person C encouraging Person B to ask Person A out? Because that would invovle Person B doing the actual asking, meaning Person B would pay. And I see that being more the case in this scenario, especially with the people involved.
-Guy always pays period. No exceptions.
-Heck no! Whoever asks pays. Granted, this is usually the man according to tradition, but I think in this case Person A might be the person asking because they're the one obviously more interested, therefore they will be paying.
-The guy should pay. But I agree with Natalie. Whoever does the asking usually offers to pay, but hopefully the guy is really worth having and would pay anyway.
-I vote person C, :) just kidding, dutch is always safe unless A or B offer. I hardly think that we should assume that the man should ALWAYS pay.
-If the girl does the asking she should offer to pay, but if a guy wants to be a real man he should pay. Definitely no dutch--their not friends!
-It's a date, no dutch. The person asking should pay, unless the other person insists on paying. I can also see a scenario where one person pays the tip or something small, if they really feel they must pay for something.....
-Are you kidding? The guy should pay! It's a date. If he can't do that then he might not be worth dating at all. If you had been dating for an extended period then the girl could pay to be nice...but who cares if she does the asking, it's not a high school girls choice dance. The guy should pay.
-The guy. Of course.
-Since I'm pretty sure I know who Persons A, B and C are...I wouldn't worry about it. Person B is a great guy and will pay for the date...that's just how he is. :)
While I was asking because of a specific situation, I think the answers are an interesting commentary on dating. Two of these comments were made by guys (can you guess which ones?). I find it interesting that none of the particular people's responses surprise me, given what I know about them.
Let's just keep our fingers crossed that Person B agrees to it!
3 comments:
WHAT? who is this fella? and do you have another friend Brittany? not allowed!
Asker pays, I'm liberated like this. Well, not really. It just seems fair. And I never knew how to approach the whole going-Dutch thing, especially if you are actually interested. "Going Dutch" seems to say from the get go that you are only interested in being friends. Paying says that you are interested in investing. The girl sometimes paying just seems fair to me also.
If thespian-boy, however, is more old school (lucky you) and moves to pick up the check--by all means let him. Maybe he is investing in YOU! And why shouldn't he, after all?
I think the person who asks should pay as well, but if that person is the girl, in most cases I know of the guy ends up offering to pay anyway. Good luck!
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